Unhappy 2

More About Workplace Unhappiness

Question #2: Can you narrow it down?

As an old counseling saying would have it, when you have a dead elephant in your living room, it's hard to throw a party there. You try to have a normal conversation, but somehow, no matter what topic you start, the discussion keeps coming back to dead elephants. You can't really do anything about it until you get rid of the elephant; ignoring it just doesn't work, nor does trying to turn the dead elephant into a coffee table or a centerpiece.

Here's a checklist of some of the major reasons why people are unhappy on the job. Check all those that fit you, but then try to narrow to the top 2 reasons you're unhappy. After all, you may not be able to fix everything that is wrong, but if you can focus on eliminating the two major problems you face, you've made a great start toward improving things in your working life.

(By the way, I owe a debt to Edgar Schein and to Barry and Linda Gale, whose work suggested some, though by no means all, of the items below. All items have been reworked and reworded, of course; I've carefully read the copyright laws, and plagiarism is not my hobby.)

Are you feeling insecure on the job -- afraid of being let go, of being demoted, of being caught up in a downsizing or restructuring?
Are you being micromanaged, or in other ways not given enough freedom to make your own decisions or do things your own way? Are you being "proceduralized" to death?
Are you blocked or stuck in your career advancement -- aspiring to climb to the next rung of the ladder, but unable to do so?
Are you a square peg in a round hole -- forced to spend your work day doing tasks that don't call on your best, most expert skills?
Do you feel that your work is meaningless -- that it doesn't really count for anything in the long run, doesn't really let you make a difference or an impact?
Are you bored, underchallenged, not given enough to do, not allowed to stretch your capacities and your capabilities?
Are you overworked, stretched to the limit, unable to stop and breathe, getting consumed by your work to the point that you have an unbalanced life (no time for leisure, family, friends, hobbies)?
Do you have a serious personality conflict with someone (co-worker, boss, key customer) on the job -- someone who just rubs you the wrong way, who is too different from you (or too much like you)?
Are you pulled between incompatible demands on the job, such as being in a situation of reporting to two different people who expect the exact opposite from you, so that pleasing one means offending the other?
Does the job make demands on you that cause family problems, such as requirements that you travel more than your lifestyle permits?
Are you underpaid to the point that you can't meet your basic financial obligations (this means food, shelter, utility bills, and the like... not your ability to purchase a second yacht)? Or, do you lack basic benefits such as health insurance and a reasonable retirement plan?

If your pet peeve isn't on this list, add it! This is just a starter list or a thought-provoker list, not a complete one.

Question #3: What can you do to make things better?

In general, when faced with a difficulty, you can either change the circumstances or change yourself (your attitude and your mental perspective). The trick is to know when to do what. As Reinhold Neibuhr's famous Serenity Prayer puts it, "God grant me the courage to change what I can, the serenity to accept what I can't, and" (here's the toughest part) "the wisdom to know the difference."

You probably know which is your greater fault: to jump too soon (leap into the pool before checking to see if there's any water in it), or to stay stuck too long (hang around the side of the pool dipping your toe in the water). If you're too impulsive, think twice before making another change, because one of the ways you can ruin your career is to get a reputation as a job-hopper. If you're too deliberate, remember that all the thought in the world won't change things until you channel it into action; the key is to start doing SOMETHING, which will get you going and often will alleviate feelings of hopelessness. (Again, as noted above, if you're struggling with clinical depression, don't make things worse by making demands on yourself you can't meet at this time; get the help you need to get better first.)

Here's a useful question to ask yourself: "What is the least change I could make that would fix (or significantly impact) my problem?" After all, you don't use a nuclear weapon to kill a fly; it works, but the side effects are not most people's idea of a good time. Seek the smallest possible change that will do the trick. If your spouse burns the toast, you don't get a divorce; you buy a new toaster or start making the toast yourself.

If nothing else, you can start quietly networking to see what options are out there for you. A person who thinks he or she has no other choice but to stay put is going to feel trapped, stuck, resentful, and blue. That same person offered some options will thrive. There are lots of possibilities out there; in fact, in today's world of work, the problem isn't that there are too few options, but that there are too many. Start acquainting yourself with the possibilities!

Back to Previous Page

Back to Home Page