---And Then There's Me .......Martha (10-23-96)
This is probably the hardest story of my whole life to write, as we never see ourselves as others see us. I will write first how I see myself and then add the comments that Middy and Ruth (my youngest and oldest sisters) wrote about me.
Being the oldest of the three younger ones in our group of seven, I tended to be the leader. You could probably call me "bossy"! As we went through life, I probably spent more time with Norma and Middy than with my older sisters. Even though I was the adventurous type, never afraid to try anything once, I also have a serious side. I cried a lot when I was growing up, -and I still do. I must relate a few examples that I clearly remember.
When I was small, and the organ played in church, I cried. To this day I still have trouble listening to hymns. When Ruth was
married and went to live in Canada, I cried so much that I had to stay home from school for several days to get over that sad
feeling. When Mother finally convinced me to go back to school, I took an apple with me, and as I walked across the
playground, I kept tossing it up in the air and catching it, to keep my mind occupied so I wouldn't cry again. It was during
this time that we learned the song "My Heart's in the Highlands". I can still sing this song and still remember the words.
Verse one follows:
My heart's in the highland
My heart is not here,
My heart's in the highland
A chasing the deer,
A hunting the wild deer
And chasing the roe,
My heart's in the highland
Wherever I go.
The words are not exactly conducive to making one feel lonely, but I could make them mean just the way I felt. Having to sing this song at this time, did not help my problem any, as I never could sing this without crying. I always thought of Ruth in Canada. I wonder if Ruth ever knew that her little sister missed her SO much!
I cried when Leona was confirmed. She is the next oldest to me. Now I would be the oldest of the three of us walking four miles to Saturday School every week. Now I would be responsible for the two younger ones. No one could ever say that I didn't take life seriously.
When Dorothy and Esther worked in Milwaukee at Concordia College, they would occasionally come home for a number of days when the students had vacation. When it was time for them to go back, I would spend hours in the attic by myself, crying, and could never explain why I had that "lump" in my throat. I often wonder if one ever runs out of tears!
I try to keep the family together by writing a lot of letters, making phone calls on a regular basis to those who are out of town, making meals for them (and whoever is around) when they come back to visit, and try to do what I can to keep us all together.
I lost my husband, like a lot of people do, and although life will never be the same, and I miss him very much, I know that life must go on. After many lonely months, I went back to teaching for a year. Trinity School needed a half-day teacher, so I got a chance to teach in the new school. I finished the year, but decided that after 38 years, that is not what I want to do anymore. So I got involved in other things.
I started writing "The Story of My Life", took up Line Dancing, go bowling once a week, go to the 55 Plus Club at church, attend the Retired Teacher's breakfast every two weeks, joined the local Retired Teacher's organization, besides doing volunteer work at church. I DO have to take time once in awhile to take care of my house. (I had a new roof put on last week!)
Now, I said I would include comments from two of my sisters, so here they are! Middy says I keep my house super neat and orderly. She even remarked about how I stack my newspapers that are to be thrown out, -exactly straight. After going home from my house, she says she wonders where she has gone wrong. She also commented that I can always put "life" into any gatherings we have, and that I am always hospitable and ready to make a meal for anyone, just like our mother did as long as she was able. She calls me her "role model", and credits me with helping her get a better perspective on things in her family that are not going the way she would like them to go. We can have long telephone conversations about everything, -and nothing. All these nice things she says about me should make me feel good, but since there is much room for improvement, I don't
always agree with her.
Ruth says that I'm a leader and every inch a teacher! I have a special way with kids, and as a result I am a favorite with nieces and nephews. Here are some other things she has said about me:
Back to a few comments of my own. I don't work outside any more than I have to. Never was too gung ho on that. But I cut my grass and blow my snow most of the time. Working outside is not my favorite occupation. I do, however, have many houseplants, mostly African violets. They do so well, and are so prolific, that I am taking many of them to our bazaar at Trinity on Saturday, October 26, 1996. Other plants I have include my favorite California Redwoods, that I raised from some seeds I brought from my trip to California in September 1993. I planted 5 seeds. 3 of them grew, and they have now reached the height of 36 inches. Besides these, I have a cactus that I received as a gift from Trinity when I taught there in 1987, a gloxinia, which is a gift from Liz, and some baby tears that I have had since Riverview teaching days, -a Christmas gift from one of my students.
I think this story should give you a pretty good idea of what I am like. To date I have spent 77 (almost 78) years on this earth, and if it is in God's plan, I plan to spend a few more years here too.